Thursday, August 28, 2014

August 28 Day 28

I was going to jot down something else today- but then I heard that Joan Rivers was just rushed to a hospital from what was probably an outpatient center. She was having endoscopic exam or procedure on her vocal cords (don't know why- and that could be wrong anyway) and had either a cardiac or respiratory arrest. I don't know if it is true or not, but it certainly made me think this entry was long overdue.  As a nurse, I can tell you that those situations are rare, but when they happen it is a very, very stressful event for everyone in the procedure room or office.  Most people don't realize that IF you arrest in an outpatient center, you have to be transported to a hospital by ambulance. It's a big disruption but probably pretty well done these days.

I was going to write about Joan Rivers at some point in these 99 days anyway.  I've read a couple of her books, and in general, she was honest. But she is one of the mean female comedians, and I'm not a big fan of them. Some of them have made me wince with the way they've gone after other women or even very young women- it isn't funny to me. Aside from Rivers, that includes Chelsea Handler, Tina Fey (the original mean girl- she even admits it), and Amy Poehler. And I think there is a reason they are mean comedians- they are fairly homely without makeup, have probably grown up being the sort of girl who uses spite as humor, and don't want to get involved in anything vaguely described as observational wit.  And they are not nice people because nicer people don't say that sort of stuff even if they think it. The way they went after Britney Spears, who was obviously mentally ill and having a mental break of some kind- well, it was disgusting. If  you want to see a very funny female comedian, see Kathleen Madigan.

But that isn't why I wrote this- this is more personal. I actually watched Celebrity Wife Swap for the episode where Bristol Palin changed places with Melissa Rivers. I don't normally watch it, but this sounded like something I ought to see. You ought to know that they both have boys, (Melissa's son Cooper is about 13 and Palin's son, Tripp, is about 5 1/2); they both lack the father of their child (Palin's father is a hands on surrogate father in the home, Rivers has no consistent male figure there); they both love their kids and family;  they are both reasonable women who are very different in their demeanor but both likeable. This is the difference: Bristol Palin was the much maligned pregnant daughter of a vice-presidential candidate who was considered to be fair game and treated like crap by the media while growing up in small town Alaska, and Melissa Rivers has also gotten to where she is because of her mother, went to private schools and Melissa was married to a horse trainer in a THREE MILLION dollar Russian royalty themed wedding at the Plaza Hotel in NYC. Melissa is worth $8 million and Bristol is broke.  Turns out it didn't matter that Bristol didn't wed since Melissa did not fare better.  Bristol made the mistake of love and sleeping with a guy who took a hike when she got pregnant. Evidently, Melissa Rivers must have been a virgin because her mother had labeled Bristol Palin a whore for having premarital sex. (Raise your hand if were a virgin when you got married. Higher, please, I can't see you.) I guess you are all whores - according to Joan. See my point?

Joan Rivers was known for making horrible, hateful statements about Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin, by the way, is nobody's fool. And she was treated with horrible disrespect, so much so that Geraldine Ferraro had to defend her. It was beyond misogyny and makes you wonder if any woman stands a chance, especially if she is attractive at all.  But I digress since this really isn't about Sarah Palin or politics. It is about what Joan Rivers can do to someone without a shred of regret.

So I watched the show, and Joan was polite to Bristol. Never once did she call her a whore to her face- just behind her back. She doesn't mention anything about Melissa's premarital sex life.
Melissa, on the other hand, brought a little order to Tripp's life and made him more manageable. Melissa enjoyed it and was a really kind mom to Tripp. Tripp was more like Mowgli and Cooper was more like a future wedding planner or accountant. It wasn't just the age that was different- Melissa is an organizer and planner, Bristol is not. Melissa's kid was given an intro to having fun without planning or regulations.  Kids are raised all kinds of ways- some brutally, some permissively, some rich, some poor, and some just rule the roost. Tripp is raised in tribal fashion with his young aunt treating him like a little brother. Cooper is raised to be very adult with his grandmother in tow. Both kids do fine. 

In the end, Joan kind of accepts that Bristol is a young woman just like her not-so-young daughter. I don't think that Joan has a moment of regret over the names she has called the Palins for the sake of "comedy". In the end, she references the whore word again despite liking Bristol. Bristol Palin is probably pretty confused as to how someone that has come to know her cannot get over the fact that she is a single mother, a lot poorer than Melissa and Joan.  I don't blame Bristol- she never said a word about how Rivers treated her and still does. But that is what happens to a girl when she gets involved in the life of a mean comedian, even if it wasn't her choice.

But not being a mean person myself, just opinionated, I'd like to say that I hope Joan Rivers comes through this and that her daughter does not lose her mother and her grandson does not  lose his grandmother.  Of all people, Joan Rivers should know how hard it is to be famous and have people follow your every move- especially if you've volunteered for it by choosing a career that demands it.  So we'll probably know every detail before this is over. Get well Joan.

Today's music:
(well done!)

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