Hey, Happy Columbus Day, or as it is known in Seattle, Indigenous whatever day.
Poor Columbus just got thrown under the bus. You know - the bus- the thing with WHEELS used for transportation with an engine invented by non-indigenous people. Did you know that "indigenous" (a misnomer anyway) people in this land didn't know how to use a wheel for transporting goods? They did not. They used it to play with, not to work with. They also ate all the native horses. So perhaps on indigenous day, we should trash the environment (oh yes, they did) and eat a horse! I'd rather have pizza, so that is where we went. Think of it as a pepperoni protest.
On America's Next Top Model this past week, Tyra Banks had everyone do their DNA through ancestry.com. We had our DNA done, and I can tell you, it was really accurate in a lot of ways. I had mine done BEFORE the federal government decided I was too soft and tender to hear the damn truth. Now, the DNA companies cannot tell you what your risk of certain diseases are based on your genetic make up. It might mislead or scare you. That is just ridiculous, and the federal government needs to be removed from our lives. (be a Libertarian- it is liberating). One of the things I learned about me what was that I was unbelievably northern European, mostly Scottish and Welsh and English, with all that entails. I have a rare gene for some sort of degenerative brain disorder that is mostly found in Holland. Fortunately, I didn't marry someone with that gene. The other thing I learned was that I carried the gene for cystic fibrosis. Good thing I didn't marry someone with that yet again. I learned I had risks for autoimmune disease, which I knew by experience and family history. I also carry the gene that keeps PLAVIX from working. My Uncle found that out the hard way- he was on plavix and he died from a blood clot anyway. Some doctor's don't even know about that gene, but 23andme.com told me all about it. I also have a the second most common breast cancer gene. So now I get screened every 6 months. What is wrong with me knowing those things? Nothing. The government is full of jackasses. It is morally wrong to tell a company they cannot give you the information that you signed up to get.
Anyhoo- the potential models on ANTM are all shades and of many backgrounds. But uniformly they identify themselves as white, African-American or Asian. Tyra has called herself a proud black woman. Imagine their surprise when they found out they were things like part Asian, part Ashkenazi Jew, part Irish, part Spanish, etc. Turns out most of them WEREN'T African American, and that explained why they were so light. Tyra, too. Lots of white and European in her pool. So, maybe it is TIME we stop calling everyone who is biracial or multiracial an "African American". They AREN'T. I don't understand the obsession with racial identity since very few people are completely one race. I am, but that is because no one wanted to move to northern Europe EVER. And mostly we came to this country 400 years ago because we didn't want to live in northern Europe either. And this "of color" designation is also sort of ridiculous. We don't have Jim Crow laws any more. And frankly, if you are a smart person "of color", you will get perks. Yep. I don't get it. It just leads to misery and blaming other people. I really applaud Tyra Banks for doing that. Some of the models who didn't get along well found out they shared some mutual heritage- it wasn't OBVIOUS by skin tone, but it was true none the less. DNA doesn't lie, as they say down at the precinct headquarters. And that totally changed their attitudes. I think it made people reconsider their own self-image.
So here's to Columbus- even if lots of people came here before he did. He went out into that awful ocean and found something new to him. And you know what? Everyone benefitted. Because if we hadn't come here first, the next discoverers might have murdered EVERYONE they saw. Because that is what people did in the 1400s. Technically, I'm probably related to those Vikings who came here way before Columbus. (I'm 3% Neanderthal too). And those native people? Well, they came here from somewhere else also. The whole world was settled by immigrants from somewhere else. So it might be time to shut up about it and enjoy what Europeans invented.
OH yeah, I said it. And thank you, Charles Murray. You tell the truth. Buon Appetito!
Here is my best Italian moment: